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tEARNING RESOURCE CENTEF BETHEL COLLEGE 3900 Bethel Drive St. Paul, MinnKBb Mil" Gratuitously Violent Photos Pg.8 WW II was Bad! jReally, Really Big Story! Pg. 13 ■■■HBH : ■B I: mil o p* H o Qai <3 u o o )—I Pi < BETHEL COLLEGE ST. PAUL, MN VOL. 66, NO. XH APRIL 1, 2021 CIRCULATION -1 "THE NEWSPAPER THAT PAYS YOU TO READ IT!" RoboBaptist Guards Lifestyle® by Inga Prognathic On March 17, 2021, Bethel acquired its first robotic security officer, which has already been affectionately dubbed, RoboBaptist. By the fall of 2030, Bethel hopes to have a security force consisting entirely of robots. Ralph Rogleschmitt, the current Chief of Jelly Rolls, Tuna fish and Campus Control, sees the movement towards a robotic security force as a great step forward. ,l Gee, I m just so thrilled, says Rogleschmitt. I really, really like the idea of having only machines and computers for students to relate to. Now if we could only do something with food service. * RoboBaptist is similar to the robots currently being used in police forces across the nation. However, he has several special features. Not only will he deter criminal behaviorandenforce theLifeStyle® statement, but he will also quotcBible verses at ihe perpetrators of unsuitable behavior to encourage them to change their ways. The Ten Commandments are, naturally, his standards. However, other favorites include Do not go out hastily (Proverbs 25:8) for speeders and Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler (Proverbs 20:1). RoboBaptist has John3:I6\ For God ! <i±Avj uumi programmed to be sensitive to infractions thai Bethel students are prone to, such as sneaking into the cafeteria without paying, telling the Market Square cashier they have water when they are actually drinking 7-Up, printing multiple copies on the computer and dancing to KDWB in their dorm rooms. According to Rogleschmitt, Bethel also considered carefully what elements to leave out of RoboB aptist programing. For instance, the verse Go to Bethel and sin (Amos 4:4), long a favorite among Bethel- ites, is notably absent from RoboBaptist s quotable verses. Marcus Goodmark, who aided in programing RoboBaptist explains that the inclusion of this verse could have really messed with the poor guy s head. According to Goodmark, there was also some discussion about giving RoboBaptisttheabilityto slayintheSpirit In the end, Goodmark says this feature was not added, for fear that it might offend some donors. Rogleschmitt adds, It works well for Southern Baptists, but in Minnesota, with all the ice and snow, it could get kind of messy to have students keeling over. The students reactions to RoboBaptist have been mixed. Sophomore RoboBaptist, Con't on Pg. 2 Lest We Forget: QUISTIANS by V. Bede This month marks the 25th anniversary of the downfall of Troy Blomquist, the sensationalist and tyrant who dominated the Bethel scene for over two years. How- crazy now: the secret prayer meetings, the riots, theLife Style Police(LiSP),thepurges, and the dread Morals and Life Style Council. However, this was all too true just one generation ago. fhcsc photos were taken al one of ihe famous Wiebe-Blomquisl debates. Blomquist s energetic style lead lo ihe screaming of such phrases as "You worldly, backslider! Whore of Babylon!" He was a real crowd pleaser. Phoios by Sean Hoyt, Clarion Archives. It started in the spring of 1994 others milled around talking to friends meeting (which met during chapel) throwing hymnals and fists. You want Truth, sophist pigs? Here s your truth! They routed the thinkers down the hall and chased them into chapel. Blomquist was overheard screaming," Peddlers of dung! Impotent fools! Herein find your truth!"' They took the stage and proclaimed that their revival had come to pass. The chapel was in an uproar, complete pandemonium having broken out: some roared in protest, some nodded in approval, many were dumb founded, while ever, as we presentl y debate new Li fcSty le^ policies, we remain ignorant of this history . Let us not forget the power of our violent and bloody tradition. The whole thing seems when Troy Blomquist and other radicals met before chapel to discuss what they saw as the declining state of morality at Bethel. They expressed their concerns and strong feelings about an invasion of sin and world- liness. And they decided to act. Revival! chanted Jimmy Hubris. Revival is here! The hyper-zealots stormed across the hall and burst into the Philosophy Club Thecampus immediately polarized into factions: those for revival through Blomquist and his followers ( Blomquist- ians ), those for normalcy leaving things the way they were ( Normalists ),andthose who were generally apathetic. In general, it seemed the faculty and 1/4 of the students Quistians, Cant an Pg. 8
Object Description
Description
Title | Page 1 |
Alternative Title | The Bethel Carrion |
Edition (Vol. No.) | Vol. 66 No. 11 |
Date Published | April 01 1991 |
Decade | 1990 |
Academic Year | 1990 - 1991 |
Frequency | Biweekly |
Notes | The Carrion (April Fools Edition of the Clarion) typically contains jokes, satire, and comic writing. As such, 'normal' credits, dates, volume/number and other information should not be taken at face value; This issue is misprinted as No. 10. It is properly No. 11. This project has been financed in part with funds provided by the State of Minnesota through the Minnesota Historical Society from the Arts and Cultural Heritage Fund. |
Digital Collection | The Clarion: Bethel University's Student Newspaper |
Digital Publisher | Bethel University |
Editor | Bruce, Mark P. |
Contributors | Martin, Barb (Administrative Advisor); Eitel, Lorraine (Academic Advisor); Daggett, Joanie (News Editor); Wright, Jill (Assistant News Editor); Hoyt, Sean (Features Editor, Assistant Editor); Urbanski, Steve (Op-Ed Editor); Nelson, Kathy (Sports Editor); Jackson, Julianne (Arts Editor); Mowry, Deb (Copy Editor); Hansen, Robin (Photo Editor); Fowler, R. Dean II (Advertising Manager); Long, Creighton (Business Manager); Blomquist, Troy (Guest Writer) |
Location |
United States Minnesota Saint Paul |
Time Span of Publication | Newspaper published from 1921 through present day |
Copyright | Creative Commons CC BY-NC 4.0 Rights Statement: This license lets others remix, tweak, and build upon your work non-commercially, and although their new works must also acknowledge you and be non-commercial, they dont have to license their derivative works on the same terms. Rights Statement URI: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/ |
Type | text |
Format | image/jpeg |
Physical Dimensions | 11.5 x 17 |
Original Collection | Printed paper copies of original newspaper in the collections of the Bethel University Library and the History Center: Archives of the Baptist General Conference and Bethel University. |
Original Publisher | Bethel College |
Transcript | tEARNING RESOURCE CENTEF BETHEL COLLEGE 3900 Bethel Drive St. Paul, MinnKBb Mil" Gratuitously Violent Photos Pg.8 WW II was Bad! jReally, Really Big Story! Pg. 13 ■■■HBH : ■B I: mil o p* H o Qai <3 u o o )—I Pi < BETHEL COLLEGE ST. PAUL, MN VOL. 66, NO. XH APRIL 1, 2021 CIRCULATION -1 "THE NEWSPAPER THAT PAYS YOU TO READ IT!" RoboBaptist Guards Lifestyle® by Inga Prognathic On March 17, 2021, Bethel acquired its first robotic security officer, which has already been affectionately dubbed, RoboBaptist. By the fall of 2030, Bethel hopes to have a security force consisting entirely of robots. Ralph Rogleschmitt, the current Chief of Jelly Rolls, Tuna fish and Campus Control, sees the movement towards a robotic security force as a great step forward. ,l Gee, I m just so thrilled, says Rogleschmitt. I really, really like the idea of having only machines and computers for students to relate to. Now if we could only do something with food service. * RoboBaptist is similar to the robots currently being used in police forces across the nation. However, he has several special features. Not only will he deter criminal behaviorandenforce theLifeStyle® statement, but he will also quotcBible verses at ihe perpetrators of unsuitable behavior to encourage them to change their ways. The Ten Commandments are, naturally, his standards. However, other favorites include Do not go out hastily (Proverbs 25:8) for speeders and Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler (Proverbs 20:1). RoboBaptist has John3:I6\ For God ! |
Language | English |
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